This is an excerpt from my performance work. Holiday from Misogyny first appeared in the Word Up Anthology published by Key Porter.

Holiday From Misogyny

You know, I've been thinking, dear. I need a holiday ... from misogyny.

Flight 831 24 bound for the Island of Fembos leaving now at gate 44:

Paging passenger Weidenhammer.

Paging passenger Weidenhammer.

Hey! That's me!

I was caught daydreaming, with my luggage in one hand, Vogue magazine in the other. Frozen there in the airport store, looking for a magazine for women who look like me. I won! I won! I won a free holiday from misogyny, As far away as you can get from the patriarchy. Before I know it I'm running to catch the 747 with an all female cast, I'm running past all the men in business suits, and I'm yelling "Hey! Get out of my way, I won a free holiday from misogyny, I'm going as far away as I can get from the patriarchy!"

"Passenger Weidenhammer?" asked the female steward in the sensible shoes.

"Yes, and I love your footwear," I say.

She smiles and then pauses, because something's wrong with this picture. The steward is whispering to the other stewards.

"I'm sorry, we can't let you on," she finally says. They won't let me on.

"There's too much ice on my wings," they say, "She'll never get off the ground, "

There's too much ice on my wings, They'll never let me on. And I am loath to let go of this daydream as I watch the plane slowly dissolve, and I move the setting to defrost

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